MEMORY OF HOME, Acrylic on Canvas by B E L L E

“Many have tried but few have succeeded. Many are called but few are chosen.”

The Mercury Retrograde has started. Woohoo! This will take place in Scorpio so Water Signs will most likely going to feel this deeper. As usual, check your natal chart to know which house this will happen for you. It’s going to be different for everyone. I always say that, because it is important. What you have in a chart is different from what I have. What I have is different from yours so never assume that just because I am a public person, I have to think, behave and breathe like you do. Hence, giving advice and generalizing things especially when it comes to Astrology doesn’t help. It only creates more confusion. My best advice is: know your chart, know thyself. No one would do that better than you. Right? Right. With all retrograde, its all about RE– redo, review, reassess, re-evaluate etc. Depending on which house or area of your life this will happen. Note: I am going to discuss the only reference I know best, and that is my Natal Chart. I am not knowledgeable in other people’s Natal Chart as it is difficult to interpret someone’s Chart. It took me years to even understand my own Birth Chart. I have to pay a huge amount of money just to get a semblance of understanding with my own Astrology. So if you are tired of reading about me and my life, you can always leave. This is the only thing I know– myself and my chart so it’s what I’m gonna talk about.

There’s this TV series called 90 Day Fianc√©: The Other Way, that I’ve been binge watching. It’s so interesting and so entertaining. I just discovered this on the net, I love it. It’s about couples who fell in love and need to be relocated in order to be together. One couple is an Indian guy and an American woman. She’s 61 and he is around 30. Apparently, in Indian culture, this poses a lot of conflict especially with the guy’s family. His parents do not approve of their relationship and so as other people in his life; yet he fought for her. He divorced his wife just to be with her; got himself a new apartment and they are both living together now. This guy is so brave, he told his parents, ‘I am getting true love from her…’ His mother was crying, of course. My reaction to that is, why is my love life not this colorful?! How do I not have a love life right now? Seriously, why?! No one is even talking to me right now. It’s as if I am inside a bubble, invincibly protected for future purposes. Hahaha. I’m imagining myself falling in love with someone from Siberia or something, then I would relocate so we can live happily ever after. Naah, I guess not. I am just different. My love life is not this colorful. In fact, I am used to make a lot of mistakes from falling in love with wrong men. I have a feeling, after this Mercury Retrograde, I will no longer make those mistakes ever again because I am being shown the TRUTH OF who I truly am.

This Mercury Retrograde is happening in my 7th House, Scorpio– house of marriage and partnership plus sex, power and shared resources. It is forcing me to dive deep into my partnership dynamics and my future marriage. I am being shown the TRUTH (Jupiter). If you have an aspect like mine where your own marriage and partnership is divinely protected (Jupiter), you can’t just date. This answer the question of my singleness and my twenty years or so celibacy. I can’t just ‘date.’ I can’t do casual sex. I am not built that way, I am realizing this now. I get it now! If my very union with another could wield the power of a God to manifest an unlimited source of wealth and power, I can’t just date and marry anyone. When my future marriage can directly impact the lives of thousands of people, I can’t just date and marry someone. My marriage in itself is being arranged by the ‘divine’ (Jupiter). I can’t control that. No one can, not even my parents.

Bill Gates has become a successful billionaire not only because of his tenacity and power but it is also because of his wife, Melinda. He was the one who harnessed this Billionaire’s aspect in his chart, but it was Melinda who directed his heart to the right place. They were able to build an empire together as one and make a huge difference to all of our lives. This is what this aspect is all about, being able to harness an unlimited source of wealth for the GREATER GOOD OF ALL. (Mine is even more potent and much stronger as it is conjunction, meaning the energies are fused together. And it is in zero degrees Scorpio.) Imagine that. I can literally heal the world. For the few of us, who has this aspect, our lives holds much greater responsibility. It is not joke to be given this Godly power hence, I can’t just end up with so and so, regardless he is the Prince of somewhere. My person was born for me and I to him. He is just simply, chosen.

This aspect has a spiritual tone into it and so as my future marriage. This is what God is preparing me for. I need to get my head straight, my heart in place and my spirit in tact. To be in union with someone who is meant to be the next Billionaire who could feed an entire nation is not a silly game. To be in this partnership where we are both called to create something that’s going to affect the world, requires purification of the soul and massive spiritual awakening. It’s serious. On the surface, we will be building a family together, sure, but there’s much bigger and higher calling to our union. This is a calling that only those with this aspect will ever understand. I’m sure, most people who would be reading this won’t even have a clue about what I’m trying to say here, as there’s very few of us in this world who is given this gift– many are called but few are chosen. This is what sets me apart from others. I am just different because I have a CALLING.

I’ve spoken to my Mom about this and she said that the vision she sees in me, is that I am meant to travel the world. I always knew it. I always had this voice that’s telling me about my future to travel. I like it. I welcome my future in full arms. If that travel is meant for me to connect to different people around the world, visit orphanages and animal sanctuaries, build schools, fund irrigation system in poor countries, attend symposiums about global pandemic, environmental conditions and other worldly issues, giving speeches about women empowerment, inspiring people in all walks of life, etc… I would love that. I am already being prepared for that.

I am becoming that…


I’ve been postponing writing about this topic due to the fact that I am also as baffled as everyone else. People have been asking me about soulmates. I’m sick of it. What do I know? I’m just an artist. I have no definite answer on questions like ‘Are all soulmates or soul connections meant to be together?’ Who knows? I did some research about souls though, from a source that I’ve been into for few years now– the Kabbalah which is a knowledge based on Torah. This is basically teachings that goes way back during Moses time. Imagine, this knowledge sprung from the time when God spoke directly to men. Anyway, just google it, there’s plenty of resources out there. I began learning about this few years ago and this was my introduction to Spirituality and how my relationship with the Universe began. Down below are the excerpts that I gathered through my research from the Zohar. Important Note: I am not trying to tell you how to live your life. I am just sharing to you what I have researched. What you do with this knowledge is entirely up to you.

Now, when it comes to ‘meant to be together,’ what do you mean? You mean, romantically? You mean marriage? I don’t know. How am I supposed to have an answer to that question. Maybe people choose whoever they want to be with. No one is forced unless you live in some cultures that forces arranged marriage, of course that is a completely different story. I have no definite answer. Meant to be, meaning destined to be together? I really don’t know the answer. To me, ‘Meant to be’ is when two people want to be together and happily building a life together. I’ve seen married couple with five children who barely speak to one another. I know them personally, by the way. They live in the same roof but they don’t have a ‘real relationship.’ The husband has three different social dating app on his phone. He leaves at seven in the morning and comes home at ten. His wife looks like a whale for over eating due to, you guess it– sadness. They avoid one another but they have children together so they put up a face. The wife got pregnant with their youngest child and she didn’t even tell her husband that she was pregnant. It wasn’t obvious because she’s fat. On the day of the delivery, she brought herself to the hospital, delivered the child alone then called her husband just to pay the hospital bill. Imagine the husband’s face when he learned that. Hilarious. I am not joking. This is a real story. What’s more funny is that the husband still thinks that he’s youngest child is not his. So where’s ‘meant to be’ in that? Do you seriously think that these two people are meant to be? I guess not. How did they end up together? I was told that the husband wanted to marry another girl but his father chose the wife instead. So… I guess, they are ‘meant to be’ according to the father.

Where does free will fall into this madness? I don’t know. You tell me. I’m not an expert. I read the bible and what I noticed is that, since the beginning of time, people always think and assume they have freewill until they don’t. One thing that I see is that freewill is NOT FREE. It has a cost. And problem arise when people use their freewill to twist God’s freewill. That’s when things gets really messed up. Some people end up in a Psych ward or in some Alcoholic Anonymous Club. This is the very reason I rarely use my freewill. I’m scared. Of God. I just go with the flow. Freewill is not free. It has a cost. I look around and I see people paying for the cost of using their freewill for a lifetime. This is why I am scared. I am careful. Always always careful.

Anyway, speaking of marriage and partnerships, we will have a retrograde on October 13. You know the drill. Check out your natal chart to see where this retrograde will land as it’s gonna be different for everyone. Mine will happen in my 7th house (Marriage and partnerships), in the sign of Scorpio (Sex and Shared Resources). I do have Ceres (nourishment) and Jupiter (luck and expansion) conjunct Pluto (Sex, power) in there, sitting close to my 6th house (routine and health).¬†Keywords: Everyday Sex, Many Sex, Big Sex, Routine Sex, Mind blowing tantric sex, divine sex, Divine union through sex, Healing through sex, Receiving and Giving nourishment through sex, healthy sex, sex for health. WHY NOT? Would love that. If you are going to do something so sacred, then why not do it every single day, right? Anyway, pretty interesting, huh? I have the planet of luck and expansion in the house of sex and marriage.

I consulted an astrologer for this placement because I was curious. Apparently, this aspect indicates huge wealth. This is an aspect of a BILLIONAIRE. Warren Buffet has this. Bill Gates has this. I was told that this placement is not common. Only few people have this in the world. But there is a BIG BUT in my own placement. Since this placement is in my 7th house, this energy of good luck and good fortune can only be accessed once I get married. And being in the 7th house, means I will marry a Billionaire or my husband will become a billionaire. It’s an indicator– Jupiter is the planet of expansion and good luck plus Ceres. That means that whatever sexual energies I share (Scorpio) with my husband (7th house) is very healing, nurturing (Ceres) and expanding (Jupiter) for both (7th house, partnerships) of us. The keyword of this is ‘Marriage’ (7th House). I have to be married first before I can access this energy. This is probably the reason why I haven’t been ‘lucky’ yet because I am still single. Some people got their luck through their family, career, talents etc. Mine, my luck will come from once I get married. It is also safe to say that it is not my loss if someone leaves me me. I’m good as I’m protected by the Divine (Jupiter). Also, I don’t have a sex life and I don’t do casual sex as I am Divinely protected (Jupiter). God won’t allow me to just give away my precious God given energy to just anyone. Whoever He chose for me, is someone that is chosen, fated and destined…

As my husband has a BIG (Jupiter) role to play for Humanity. He’s chosen. Not me. I am just the woman behind the man. I am just the reward from God (Jupiter) for him. It’s fine. I knew my life would be this way and I have already accepted my fate long before I was born.